Conspiracy!!!

A compatriot of mine linked a video in his one man unending anti Hillary campaign. I watched and I critiqued as always. As I did I had a profound revelation, one that chilled me to my very core...what if he is right...what if "Killary" is indeed the harbinger of the end times.

Tomorrow is Super Tuesday and I felt that it is my duty as an American citizen to offer this terrifying revelation to you my dear readers...brace yourselves.

What if Mr Jones, is in fact a staunch Hillary supporter, in league with the dark ones and acting the part of a far right caricaturized boob as a means of discrediting those of us with a none liberal bent? As I watched this circus of folly I realized one thing; if there is some conspiracy to be in on, this Alex Jones surely has a part in it. Allow me to explain my reasoning. Mr Jones,exposes the truth of a satanic conspiracy in an over the top and, to be quite honest, crazy sort of way. His highly agitated and manic delivery builds steadily throughout this display. His tales of tearing doors off of hinges? Punching holes in walls? Going to fly down to New York on a hunt for justice? That just screams mental instability.


He offers proof, wikileaks article x, y and z. Hmmm this unstable man is suggesting I look on wikileaks for proof of his crazy discoveries. As a reasonable person wikileaks is now highly suspect. Oh and look at the Bill Clinton highlighted material that he quotes from...yet allows the camera to zoom into so that anyone could pause the video, read the full text and see that he is pulling things out of context.

I decided to look more into this charade and checked out his "infowars" website with comments under every post such as "Hillary Clinton is the modern day Jezebel. She gets drunk on the blood of the Saints, Aborted Babies. Her soul is infested with demons. She has to be stopped." This suggest his supporters are crazy conspiracy theorist types. Seeing this my first gut reaction is "Wow, these people are crazy, I'm not crazy like these people, so I'm not going to consider another word pertaining to the now quite evident fact that Hillary is truly an earthly manifestation of Beelzebub!" Its a brilliant tactic, hats off Mr. Jones.


And then, I had a Mountain Dew and watched Star Trek Season 3 episode 1: "Spocks Brain". Taking a breath I soon felt my cool returning. I post this in hopes that those reading will choose an earthly evil rather than an extra dimensional one on election day. One last note, I would like to say that I am very happy with my life and would never seek to see it end abruptly. Therefore, if I am found face down in a pecan pie in a sleazy motel, know that I was silenced.